Here She Goes Again|Failure, lessons, moving forward✨

Goodbye 2017, hello 2018!

I may be a little late to the party, the new year started almost a month ago already. Not much changes when the year does, time continues to move with or without you.

It’s no secret that I was excited to share the news I’d be participating in Blogmas 2017. I was excited about it being my first year blogging, and to be jumping back into the blogging routine in general. It’s also no secret that I haven’t been following through with many of my plans lately. I’ve been slacking so to speak. Yes, sometimes I’m away but you can always expect me to come back.

2017 has been full of surprises, highs, and lows. The lows have overwhelmingly taken over and have left me completely drained, feeling I’ve hit rock bottom.

The highs, however, have made me realize that I am strong enough to get through the obstacles life chooses to send my way, no matter how difficult at first.

The most important lessons I learned:

1. Not to let my emotions consume and control me

2. Be more disciplined and independent

3. Let go of people/things/energies that are holding me back from prospering

Essentially, these are things I already knew but didn’t really apply to my life until forced to. The universe or God will always find a way to force your attention on what’s important that you’re ignoring.

Every time I have backed out of something has been the result of me letting my emotions or things I can’t control get the best of me and shut me down. That is what happened with my participation in Blogmas. I let outside stress and my feelings about certain situations shut me down.

I feel guilty breaking the commitment which is why I stayed away longer. This seems to happen each time but more so now than ever before. Each day that passed made me less motivated and discouraged to come back with another story yet again. There’s also that fear of losing readers that I’m sure we all know about. But I’m human, I can’t be perfect and sometimes things aren’t going to go the way I’d like them too. What can I do? Be upset about it and get into a negative funk, or accept it and move forward.

Now that I am a bit recharged I know to address the situation instead of avoiding it, addressing it early on could have given me the inspiration and motivation I lacked. I also wouldn’t be worried about getting this post out now because it would have already been out of the way. I have to push forward in whatever way that may mean. Even if that means doing something right then and there or taking a break longer than expected, to think and recharge.

Taking the time to think and recharge doesn’t mean to just lay around and binge watch Netflix series or wallow in self-pity. It doesn’t mean to get lazy by any means. Though this free time is definitely needed, you can still be productive while waiting for that inspiration and drive to kick back in. I’ve been doing this by taking time away from blogging but doing work behind the scenes. Continuing to write down or plan any blog post ideas I want to share in the future, working on my focus for social media, taking the time to do research and improve certain skills, try new things, and taking the time to really focus on myself and my vision. What it is that I really want out of this, what it is that I really want out of life period and how I can get it step by step.

Losing my first apartment, my mind, and a relationship all at once forced me to realize I need to become more disciplined and independent. I’ve been moving around from house to house and having to ask for things. There were some people I only let stick around, with power over me in a sense because I was depending on them in some way whether it be financially or emotionally. I put their needs before my own because I felt like I owed them…

If someone is going to walk all over you trying to have power over you just because they’re helping you out, you don’t owe them much of anything. You owe it to yourself to get the hell out of that situation so you can do those things for yourself. That’s just how I feel.

I am now in the process of moving again, which isn’t fun but this next step could be the step I have been needing. I have the opportunity to move a bit further than usual and really get a fresh start where I won’t have to worry about some of the things that have been holding me back here. Though I haven’t quite made up my mind yet, I’ve been thinking of the all the reasons to stay where I am, I do know that I don’t know how things could go if I don’t give it a try. To move forward, you cant stay stuck in the past or even the present. There’s always room to improve. Now is not the time to give up because I feel that much closer to whatever it is I have been searching for. Now is the time to be more optimistic and adventurous. It’s time to plant the seeds and water my ideas. It’s time to do what’s best for me and flourish. 🌻

writtenwithlovegpj
Changes and new posts are on the way.

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Blogmas Day 4: A Life Update💚✨

As many of you know, back in October I went through a rough time dealing with a break up and losing our apartment with other problems following. Some of those problems included more arguments, making sure our pets would still have a home because I definitely couldn’t just give my babies away, making sure I’d have a place to stay and sleep at night.

For a while I had all of my belongings with my family at the house I grew up in which turned out being a bad idea since many of my belongs were taken or misplaced. A lot of my little cousins stay there and would get into my things but also the adults smh.

Some of my craft materials were thrown away, old back up phones taken (got them back fortunately) but the thing that really upset me was several of my brand new notebooks being taken from me. One in particular I wanted I already have a feeling who took it because they asked for it before it came up missing, I said no because it was one of my newest and favorites but I GAVE them another one instead. This is an adult I’m speaking of. My family knows how I am about my writing so for them to do that really hurt. I will never take anything there again. I’ve dealt with this since middle school so I guess I should have known better. Or maybe people just shouldn’t touch what doesn’t belong to them? 🤷🏽‍♀️

Things have gotten a little better since October but I’m still working to get through this whole mess and on my feet. I’m currently still living with my cousin, her sister has twin boys 5 months old which I’ve been babysitting a lot more lately. They’re adorable and their laughter and smiles will warm your heart but of course babies require a lot of time and attention, especially when there’s two. It can get frustrating at times but I’d say I’m getting plenty of practice for my own some day.

The pets are doing just fine and Izabelle is a lot more comfortable now but I miss them more and more each day. When I go to visit, Izabelle and Zoey both come next to me to lay down, be held, or rubbed. Sometimes I want to cry because they really are like my babies. Not just them, the guinea pigs also. I hate that they don’t have as much floor space anymore but we’re hoping to fix that for them or we’ll have to find them a new home. This is probably what’s the most stressful out of the whole situation. I’m gonna move on from this part of the update before I breakdown lol…

For Thanksgiving I spent time at a few different homes with family, I ate at two of them. I always look forward to my family’s Thanksgiving cooking, it always tastes amazing. Dessert too! I had lemon cake for dessert. Thanksgiving this year also fell on my nieces birthday, we threw her a surprise party the next day. More great food, and entertainment! All of the kids (my nieces and cousins) did dance performances and I’m thinking they need to give me some lessons ASAP😆

No I’m serious. Those kids can really dance, I was proud lol. I hope they stick with it and get even better. Maybe even get into gymnastics or cheer. I’m a little upset at myself for not recording an actual video, I had it on SnapChat instead without saving.

Speaking of SnapChat, I’ve been thinking about having mine for blog updates and a way for you all to get to see a bit of my life, or by using instagram story. I’ve never used Instagram story but I think it’s pretty much the same.

I have not checked any emails lately. Mainly because I got a new phone an have not downloaded gmail, I don’t have my laptop right now so I’ve been blogging by phone, and because I desperately need to clean my inbox. I’ll have to make sure I get to that soon.

I’d love to update you all on everything that has been going on because there is a lot more to this story and some things I have to let play out before I can speak on them. But I’ll leave it here for now. What’s going on in your life lately? How are the holidays treating you so far? Let me know in the comments.💖

Merry Blogmas! I’m participating💚✨

Merry Blogmas dear blog friends! It’s actually quite weird for me to say because this is my first time participating in Blogmas as this is my first year as a blogger. But also because I haven’t been posting as frequently, especially not everyday I haven’t done that in months. So much is still going on and I’ve been a bit busy, I plan to do a life update next week to fill you all in.

This month I will be posting everyday, early or late so just stop by when you get the chance to see if I’ve posted. I understand that some people do not celebrate Christmas or the holidays so for that reason there will be Christmas, winter, and other fun related posts.

As for Blogmas Day 1 I will be doing a simple post to get things started.

How many words can you make out of “Merry Blogmas?”

My list is down below. Comment what other words you came up with that I may have missed (3 or more letters.)

To make it more fun and challenging, time yourself and see how many different words you come up with in say…5-10 minutes?

❄️MERRY BLOGMAS❄️

Games

Male

Smear

Base

Bears

Beg

Bag

Roam

Rome

Rose

Globe

Rosary

Roar

Brag

Robe

Mole

Labs

Legs

Oral

Orgasm…(Okay, at this moment I realize I’ve placed oral and orgasm together… I could have switched words around or taken one out but what fun is that? We’re all mature here right🙂)

Gamble

Gamblers

Memo

Loser

Maybe

Mobs

Army

Sober

Real

Berry

Goals

Glare

Rare

Able

Bore

Sore

Soar

Lame

Germs

Meal

Solar

Some

Years

Mayor

Gear

Rear

Rags

Lag

More

Same

Blogs

Slob

Blame

Ears

Mom

Mars

Sorry

Marry

That’s what I have on my list but I’m sure there are so many others! I’d love if anyone comments any big words they find also. See you all tomorrow for day 2 of Blogmas! A Golden Blogmas💖

Happy Fun Friday!✨

It All Happened In October…Moving away, ending a relationship & more!😮

Does anyone still remember me? I’ve been off of WordPress only about a month but it feels like so much longer. I feel like I have to learn how to be a blogger all over again. I can’t be the only one.

A few months ago I told myself that by October I wanted to reach my 1K follower goal. Well, that didn’t happen because everything else did and I had to step away and take a real break. Many things were broken in the month of October, but by the end… Things may just be getting better. I’ll have to keep pushing forward to find out.

So what exactly did happen last month? That’s what you might be wondering. I’m back to give you all the minor details.
In my last What’s Up Wednesday post I mentioned how things weren’t going so great with my living arrangements, we found out we couldn’t keep or afford the apartment anymore. Technically we could afford it but some people like to splurge when they know rent is due and that kept giving us setbacks. I’m not talking about myself.

A few days into October my boyfriend and I had a huge fight, and I do mean huge. Actually right after my last post which is why I did not return like I had planned. Things were broken around the apartment including our relationship. I won’t speak about the exact reasons for the fight or breaking up, but know that it wasn’t an overreaction type of situation. He messed up. I got all of my things and left with nowhere really to go. For weeks I moved around from house to house with different family members.

He is back with his mom and so are our pets. I miss them so much and it hurts so much. They suffered from our problems. Izabelle didn’t like moving to his moms, she hid in the closet for days until I came over to comfort her. Now she is doing much better. We also got a new kitten that I planned on introducing before everything happened…
Her name is Zoey and she is about 4-5 months now. Isn’t she adorable? Maybe I’ll still do a proper introduction soon. She’s doing fine at my boyfriends moms, probably because she’s so young and adventurous. The guinea pigs are doing fine as well but I probably won’t do anymore YouTube videos of them.

I actually don’t know what to call my “boyfriend” we had been trying to work things out but our time apart has only made me realize so much that I was in denial about while we were together. It may just be 2 years down the drain. He doesn’t want to lose me but I can’t promise anything at this moment. Whether we fix things or not he’ll always be around since he’s been around for over 10 years in our family.

I ended up staying with my cousin for a while, I’m still at her place with her big family. Everything is fine, it’s a bit more stressful not having as much alone time but at the same time I needed to be around friends/family. They have helped me a lot through all that’s been going on.

I also ran into someone from the past which was strange because I had been getting signs like dreams and tarot readings (that I sometimes watch/read for fun) that someone from the past would be coming back into my life. There was no bad history, we just kind of stopped talking. I even prayed to be guided and sent to where I needed to be, who I needed to be around… Two days after that prayer is when the big fight happened. So I’m not really sure what is happening but something definitely is. I’m not jumping into anything but I’ll mention this situation again as time goes by. When I came to my cousins house towards the middle of October things have just started to feel right and better ever since, the last week of October was amazing but obviously I’m still torn and hurt trying to figure out what’s next. I learned and found out about many things that has shaken my life up but I look forward to the good from it all. There’s usually something better coming when life is shaken up like this.

Another thing is I plan on getting back into my crafts, continue working on a poetry book and many other things that I had been putting off to the side. I feel more motivated now. You may see me back on social media slowly but surely, I’m going to be making changes and improvements everywhere. I haven’t forgot about the posts I planned such as natural hair and Fun Friday, those will be coming. I definitely need to work on SheLivesLove and not neglect it anymore so I will be busy.

I really hope all is well with you all, I hope that whoever is reading this has had a wonderful October and a great start of November. I hope to chat with you all again. I was away for a while but not for good so this is me updating you on my crazy life and welcoming my own return. Don’t be afraid to leave a comment, email me or whatever you wish💖

Thank you for reading.

Behind The Name: SheLivesLove💖

Choosing a blog name can easily be one of the best parts of starting your blog, but it can just as easily be the most frustrating process. Whether you are starting your blog for the first time, or rebranding, picking the best name is important. When I started GoldenPinkJournal, I didn’t know nearly as much as I do now and I also didn’t take the time to think it through to make sure that I was making the best decision for my blog. I’ve noticed so many other bloggers going through the same thing so I thought I would share my process of picking a good name and a few tips to help you with yours.

The first thing I did to start the process was deciding what my blog was all about. Will it be a lifestyle, beauty & fashion blog, or other? What topics will I blog about? Who will be your potential audience? What general message and feeling do I want readers to leave with? Can you see yourself still using the name years from now?
These are questions you can ask yourself as well. I wanted my blog to focus on lifestyle and inspiration, spreading positivity, and have readers leave feeling a love of life despite hardships, learn or be inspired to do something. My audience will mostly be women.

I then wrote down topics and words that relate to my blog, I also included some of my favorite words. A shortened list of words I wrote down:

  • Lifestyle
  • Life/Live
  • Love/Lovely
  • Inspiration/Inspire
  • Creativity
  • Discussions
  • Poetry
  • Flowers/Rose
  • Reverie
  • Her/She/Girl
  • Thoughts
  • Epiphany
  • Euphoria 
  • Eloquence
  • Luminary

Still pretty lengthy right?

After that list, I researched other blogs to see how their names were. I considered my actual name as I know that is a way some people brand themselves and really get themselves out there. During my research, I found many bloggers who do in fact use their name but also many that do not. Using your own name can be great depending on how long it is if it’s easy to remember, if it has a nice ring to it, and what your blog will be about. But if your name is something like Philanzio Amauiori (totally made this name up) or Ann Smith (this name is too common) you might want to consider something else. Readers won’t be able to remember your name easily, or it will already be taken. If someone heard it on the radio or on television would they know how to spell it? If you would have a problem with an employer or family member finding your blog you also should consider a different name.

I chose not to go with my name because I liked other names better and I didn’t want people confused on my middle name, Lecole [Lee-cole]. Some people don’t know how to pronounce it or would think it was my last name. I can just make sure that people associate my blog with it instead of using it as my domain. If I used my last name it would sound like any other common name but you can also think of alternatives. For example, Aimee [Ah-Mee] Song.  At first glance of Aimee, most people would think it is just another way of spelling “Amy.” Song is actually her last name, and her blog is named Song of Style. You could also do something like “LovelyLecole” “Phil Amour” “AnnAmazingLife” but I decided not to include my name. I wanted something sweet and easy to remember.

Popular blogger names I found and like are WishWishWish, GalMeetsGlam, TheSkinnyConfidential, The Everygirl, and pink Peonies.

By this time I was ready to start writing down a list of potential names for my blog. A few of the choices I came up with were LovelyReverie, LiveToInspire, ReverieInspired, and SheLivesLove.

One thing you should always do when choosing a name is checking to make sure the domain name and social media handles are available. This will help you eliminate some of the potential names in your list, you can also eliminate longer names and those that are your least favorite of course.

I noticed that on my social media accounts I always use the phrase “She is to love and be loved.” This is something I’ve always told myself since I was younger. I always had this feeling that part of my purpose in life is to spread a lot of love and inspiration to others, and in return be loved by a lot of people. This was perfect for the potential name on my list, sheliveslove! A great website that acts as a name generator and domain checker is bustaname.com. Try to list about 6 words to start seeing suggestions. Here I’ve included a screenshot example I’ve done:

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You may have to add several words before you get a good list of ideas unless you include your name. You can also click on the blue arrows to get more word suggestions.

 As for sheliveslove, I wanted to wait a while to see if my mind would change or any other names would come to me. I also checked to make sure the domain name and social media handles were available and I was good to go, other than a blank Instagram account which I didn’t see as too much of a problem since no one was actually using it. I just added an underscore to mine. If you have to do that with all or even most social media handles I would suggest going for another.

After weeks of deliberation, I decided this was the right name for me and thus sheliveslove.com was born!💖

Whatever you do, just don’t choose a name that can easily come off as something else like the names listed on this website for example:

30 Unintentionally Inappropriate Domain Names

One of them is “Penisland” (Pen Island) but some people could easily think that says… Well, what do you think? Lol.

There you have it. This is how I chose my new blog name, one that works so much better for me. How did you come up with your name? Can you add any tips? Comment below.✨

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Big BIG News!!💖

OKAY! I know you all are probably wondering why there was no Fun Friday post last week…

Well, that’s because this whole weekend I spent working on my new blog and the time has come that I’m ready to start this new journey! I’m extremely excited and nervous at the same but I can’t wait to chat with you all about the changes.💕

I won’t discuss it all in this post because there’s just so much. I have come up with a schedule and other things that I will share with you all later. I’m actually typing this at 3:30 AM- YIKES. I must be crazy. I plan on waking back up to start the day around 9 but it could be longer depending on how tired I am (this will be a scheduled post) so I should get some sleep soon.

The main thing I wanted to let you all know was my new blog name of course!

The big, BIG news? Yes, you probably guessed it! Did you???

I am now self-hosted!😮 I’ll also be starting fresh with social media.

Like I said, there’s so much to discuss. I’ll chat with you all soon. Thanks for reading and check out my new blog over at sheliveslove.com

Now you all get to know what my real name is 😮 only one other blogger knows it already. Shout out to Cheila💕

I’m still working out things, and my theme will probably change but it is up and running. Also, there are a few blog related posts up already. Normal posts will start on Wednesday. I hope you all like the changes so far, let me know what you think.

Goodnight/Goodmorning✨

I’m so ready to be back to happy blogging and being a part of the community like I once was.💕💕💕

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A Few Updates & Thank You For 700 Followers!✨

A few updates…

  • My next post will be the last feature for my 500 Follower Q&A Game Series, I’ll be sharing another app
  • You may have noticed I haven’t been on Instagram much this past week, a lot has been going on. Also, I’m going to have to make another change there. UGH! So much change. There will also be something new with Twitter but i’m focusing on Instagram at the moment.
  • I said I was going to start my new blog right after I am done with features but I have decided to give myself 2 more weeks. This is so I can make final adjustments, be sure things are the way I want, get a few posts ready instead of just 1, and for a little rest. A little break from the pressure of uploading almost every day.
  • During these next two weeks I won’t be posting much, probably 2 or 3 times if any, and reposting old uploads. I will be using this time to reply to some of my many unanswered comments, and reading some of your posts as I haven’t lately. Expect to catch me in your comments soon:)
  • I have reached 700 followers, THANK YOU all so much! Especially since I haven’t been as active💛💛💛
  • This next update is kind of a story too: This past week has been full of ups and downs, but there was one moment that was kind of both at the same time. I recently signed up for a free trial on ancestry.com, I don’t know much about my family because I grew up in foster care and with aunts/grandmothers/sisters etc. My mother’s side is the side I know least about since she wasn’t around at all. I do know that she had at least 2 other children and gave them up for adoption. I saw one of them because he was taken away, we were all in court. He was about 1 at the time so not old enough to remember anything. His name is Dewayne and I always remembered that, and that he was a few years younger than I am. That’s all I knew.While searching on Ancestry, I found a few things about my mom and dad, and their parent’s that I already knew. I couldn’t find much more after that and was ready to cancel my free trial. Something told me to try a search one more time before officially giving up. I followed my intuition and searched Dewayne (with my last name) and an estimate of how old he might be. My guess was around 16.

    I can’t explain the feeling I got when a name popped up with my mothers name as his mother! I was excited, surprised, and anxious to know more. I really just wanted to cry. It wasn’t a lot of information (only his full name, birthday, and our mother’s name) but it was more than what I had. My brother turned 18 in February. I turned 23 in March. For 18 years, he has not known that he has older siblings out there. For about 23 years I’ve known about him, out there somewhere. It will probably be much longer because I’m sure his last name is changed from adoption. A Facebook search led me nowhere. I wonder If his foster parents has told him much of anything yet? Since he is 18 now… I know some people make public posts when they are searching for a family member, but I guess I wasn’t ready to try that step yet. What if they don’t want him to know, but he has the right doesn’t he? For now I’ll be talking with family and asking more questions. I will continue to search for him until we finally meet. I am one step closer…

Life is changing and moving rapidly, but I feel that I couldn’t be more ready for these changes. I don’t know what will happen in the next few weeks, months, or years but I’m feeling growth happening, I’m feeling blessings coming. I’m feeling there is a great reason for all of this. This is why I’m trying my best to keep positive and keep the faith alive despite all the things that bring a challenge my way. Do you any of you understand this feeling? Have you felt this way before?

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