Stream Of Consciousness💭| Introduction

1/22/18

I had a short break from life. Now I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to go back. My mind is made up I won’t be there for long. That’s the way it’s always been. Been. Here. Gone. There. Everywhere or anywhere. Everyone wants to be happy. Sometimes it makes us selfish, sometimes we’re too selfless and give too much of it away just to keep everyone else happy. And then we break down. I hide the way I truly feel because it seems so selfish.Selfish selfish selfishness. Selfishly. But every once in a while you have to put yourself first. There are only a few hours left in the day before I go back to misery? I guess it’s up to me how that all plays out. Maybe I’ll have my favorite company, even though I’ve had company all this time. Just wasn’t the company I really wanted. I’m realizing the things I want out of life and the people I want out of my life. Energy I don’t want to be around, not letting anyone control how my day is going to be. If I don’t want to do it, I don’t want to do it and I don’t have to. Unless it’s like a life or death situation or something. If I don’t want to be there, I don’t want to be there and I don’t have to be. Unless I have nowhere else to go. It sucks when you feel like you’re running out of options but deep down you know you’re not, you’re just so exhausted and over all the unfortunates you become lazy and discouraged. I must be feeling discouraged I’ve been saying that word a lot lately I’ve noticed. I’ll be finding more positive words to say. 111, 1111, 222, 22, 333, 33, 444, 44, 555, 55, 10:25. I see these numbers so much.

Stream of Consciousness Journaling

Stream of consciousness (may also be known as morning pages) is a style of journaling where you just let whatever comes to mind flow out on paper without stopping to think about anything. There are no rules to this style of journaling, you don’t have to worry about grammar, punctuation, or structure. You aren’t telling a story, it doesn’t have to make sense. I like to write my stream of consciousness when I wake up in the morning or anytime before 12 PM, basically anytime before I’ve fully started my day. When you first wake up your mind is still processing the dreams you had the night before, your mind is also preparing for the rest of the day so writing during that time can be very beneficial and quite interesting. To start out try spending about 5-10 minutes to free your mind and release all the chatter, then make the time unlimited. Write for as long as you can without breaking the stream.

Stream of consciousness journaling can also help with lack of understanding and writers’ block. Often times I find that I am having writers’ block because my mind is full of clutter and I can’t really understand my thoughts or organize them in a way that when I go to write a post or story ideas aren’t all over the place. Release the clutter without having to be organized! But there’s also lack of inspiration… Instead of forcing yourself to put words together becoming frustrated in the process, allow everything to flow out at once and you’ll be surprised at the ideas that pop up. If you don’t understand how you’re feeling about a specific person or situation, stream of consciousness journaling can give you an insight into how and why you’re feeling a certain way. Your conscience is literally telling you with no filter, uncensored.

The first few times you try it may be a little fuzzy but that’s okay, it is sort of a skill you have to develop, I’m still practicing and developing my way. Soon it will become like second nature. I’ve taken the advice to not read any of my stream of consciousness entries until after a week or so. That way, you’re not constantly judging yourself and getting discouraged to continue. By judging yourself, I mean your work. Whatever you’ve written, if you read it right away and notice the errors you may want to correct them or add/delete things which defeats the purpose. You don’t need to edit your raw thoughts and feelings.

As something fresh to my blog but similar to my old diary entries, I will be journaling at least three times a week for now and share one with you all each week, to start I’ll see how each Monday plays out.

Do you practice stream of consciousness journaling? Do you take time to journal daily? Do you find that it helps improve any aspect of your writing? Comment below.

writtenwithlovegpj.png

Advertisements

Here She Goes Again|Failure, lessons, moving forward✨

Goodbye 2017, hello 2018!

I may be a little late to the party, the new year started almost a month ago already. Not much changes when the year does, time continues to move with or without you.

It’s no secret that I was excited to share the news I’d be participating in Blogmas 2017. I was excited about it being my first year blogging, and to be jumping back into the blogging routine in general. It’s also no secret that I haven’t been following through with many of my plans lately. I’ve been slacking so to speak. Yes, sometimes I’m away but you can always expect me to come back.

2017 has been full of surprises, highs, and lows. The lows have overwhelmingly taken over and have left me completely drained, feeling I’ve hit rock bottom.

The highs, however, have made me realize that I am strong enough to get through the obstacles life chooses to send my way, no matter how difficult at first.

The most important lessons I learned:

1. Not to let my emotions consume and control me

2. Be more disciplined and independent

3. Let go of people/things/energies that are holding me back from prospering

Essentially, these are things I already knew but didn’t really apply to my life until forced to. The universe or God will always find a way to force your attention on what’s important that you’re ignoring.

Every time I have backed out of something has been the result of me letting my emotions or things I can’t control get the best of me and shut me down. That is what happened with my participation in Blogmas. I let outside stress and my feelings about certain situations shut me down.

I feel guilty breaking the commitment which is why I stayed away longer. This seems to happen each time but more so now than ever before. Each day that passed made me less motivated and discouraged to come back with another story yet again. There’s also that fear of losing readers that I’m sure we all know about. But I’m human, I can’t be perfect and sometimes things aren’t going to go the way I’d like them too. What can I do? Be upset about it and get into a negative funk, or accept it and move forward.

Now that I am a bit recharged I know to address the situation instead of avoiding it, addressing it early on could have given me the inspiration and motivation I lacked. I also wouldn’t be worried about getting this post out now because it would have already been out of the way. I have to push forward in whatever way that may mean. Even if that means doing something right then and there or taking a break longer than expected, to think and recharge.

Taking the time to think and recharge doesn’t mean to just lay around and binge watch Netflix series or wallow in self-pity. It doesn’t mean to get lazy by any means. Though this free time is definitely needed, you can still be productive while waiting for that inspiration and drive to kick back in. I’ve been doing this by taking time away from blogging but doing work behind the scenes. Continuing to write down or plan any blog post ideas I want to share in the future, working on my focus for social media, taking the time to do research and improve certain skills, try new things, and taking the time to really focus on myself and my vision. What it is that I really want out of this, what it is that I really want out of life period and how I can get it step by step.

Losing my first apartment, my mind, and a relationship all at once forced me to realize I need to become more disciplined and independent. I’ve been moving around from house to house and having to ask for things. There were some people I only let stick around, with power over me in a sense because I was depending on them in some way whether it be financially or emotionally. I put their needs before my own because I felt like I owed them…

If someone is going to walk all over you trying to have power over you just because they’re helping you out, you don’t owe them much of anything. You owe it to yourself to get the hell out of that situation so you can do those things for yourself. That’s just how I feel.

I am now in the process of moving again, which isn’t fun but this next step could be the step I have been needing. I have the opportunity to move a bit further than usual and really get a fresh start where I won’t have to worry about some of the things that have been holding me back here. Though I haven’t quite made up my mind yet, I’ve been thinking of the all the reasons to stay where I am, I do know that I don’t know how things could go if I don’t give it a try. To move forward, you cant stay stuck in the past or even the present. There’s always room to improve. Now is not the time to give up because I feel that much closer to whatever it is I have been searching for. Now is the time to be more optimistic and adventurous. It’s time to plant the seeds and water my ideas. It’s time to do what’s best for me and flourish. 🌻

writtenwithlovegpj
Changes and new posts are on the way.

It All Happened In October…Moving away, ending a relationship & more!😮

Does anyone still remember me? I’ve been off of WordPress only about a month but it feels like so much longer. I feel like I have to learn how to be a blogger all over again. I can’t be the only one.

A few months ago I told myself that by October I wanted to reach my 1K follower goal. Well, that didn’t happen because everything else did and I had to step away and take a real break. Many things were broken in the month of October, but by the end… Things may just be getting better. I’ll have to keep pushing forward to find out.

So what exactly did happen last month? That’s what you might be wondering. I’m back to give you all the minor details.
In my last What’s Up Wednesday post I mentioned how things weren’t going so great with my living arrangements, we found out we couldn’t keep or afford the apartment anymore. Technically we could afford it but some people like to splurge when they know rent is due and that kept giving us setbacks. I’m not talking about myself.

A few days into October my boyfriend and I had a huge fight, and I do mean huge. Actually right after my last post which is why I did not return like I had planned. Things were broken around the apartment including our relationship. I won’t speak about the exact reasons for the fight or breaking up, but know that it wasn’t an overreaction type of situation. He messed up. I got all of my things and left with nowhere really to go. For weeks I moved around from house to house with different family members.

He is back with his mom and so are our pets. I miss them so much and it hurts so much. They suffered from our problems. Izabelle didn’t like moving to his moms, she hid in the closet for days until I came over to comfort her. Now she is doing much better. We also got a new kitten that I planned on introducing before everything happened…
Her name is Zoey and she is about 4-5 months now. Isn’t she adorable? Maybe I’ll still do a proper introduction soon. She’s doing fine at my boyfriends moms, probably because she’s so young and adventurous. The guinea pigs are doing fine as well but I probably won’t do anymore YouTube videos of them.

I actually don’t know what to call my “boyfriend” we had been trying to work things out but our time apart has only made me realize so much that I was in denial about while we were together. It may just be 2 years down the drain. He doesn’t want to lose me but I can’t promise anything at this moment. Whether we fix things or not he’ll always be around since he’s been around for over 10 years in our family.

I ended up staying with my cousin for a while, I’m still at her place with her big family. Everything is fine, it’s a bit more stressful not having as much alone time but at the same time I needed to be around friends/family. They have helped me a lot through all that’s been going on.

I also ran into someone from the past which was strange because I had been getting signs like dreams and tarot readings (that I sometimes watch/read for fun) that someone from the past would be coming back into my life. There was no bad history, we just kind of stopped talking. I even prayed to be guided and sent to where I needed to be, who I needed to be around… Two days after that prayer is when the big fight happened. So I’m not really sure what is happening but something definitely is. I’m not jumping into anything but I’ll mention this situation again as time goes by. When I came to my cousins house towards the middle of October things have just started to feel right and better ever since, the last week of October was amazing but obviously I’m still torn and hurt trying to figure out what’s next. I learned and found out about many things that has shaken my life up but I look forward to the good from it all. There’s usually something better coming when life is shaken up like this.

Another thing is I plan on getting back into my crafts, continue working on a poetry book and many other things that I had been putting off to the side. I feel more motivated now. You may see me back on social media slowly but surely, I’m going to be making changes and improvements everywhere. I haven’t forgot about the posts I planned such as natural hair and Fun Friday, those will be coming. I definitely need to work on SheLivesLove and not neglect it anymore so I will be busy.

I really hope all is well with you all, I hope that whoever is reading this has had a wonderful October and a great start of November. I hope to chat with you all again. I was away for a while but not for good so this is me updating you on my crazy life and welcoming my own return. Don’t be afraid to leave a comment, email me or whatever you wish💖

Thank you for reading.

A Guide to Exploring New Things; Guest Post by Pamela✨

Hello lovelies and welcome back to another Monday!

As you all know, this week I will be featuring Pamela who blogs over on StarringPamela. For the first feature, Pamela has written a great post about exploring and trying new things. She worked hard on this post, it’s so inspiring and informative and I encourage you all to read it! I think you’ll be able to take something from it- I sure did. After reading, be sure to check out her blog and give a follow 🙂

Hi everyone! First, thank you Lee for allowing me to guest post on your blog! Second, thank you to everyone who supports Lee and her wonderful blog! I can’t wait to see how Golden Pink Journal changes and I know it’ll be even more amazing than it already is.

As the title suggests, I’m going to provide you with a step-by-step guide on how to go about trying and exploring new things. This post is by no means intended to be a strict rule book, but rather meant to be a friendly nudge towards encouraging you to find something new to enjoy.

I will focus on hobbies and how to go about finding a way to start working on making that hobby yours! I do hope you’ll find it helpful. So far this has worked for me! I’ve done a range of activities. Such as:

  • Competitive swimming and running in school
  • Played flute for over 10 years
  • Horseback riding as an adult for fun
  • Ballet as an adult, as a college elective and for fun
  • Creative writing for as long as I can remember
  • Film photography as an art elective in college
  • Attending musical theatre productions

I could go on but you get the idea. I also left out blogging from my list as I feel that’s something we probably all share or at least know a lot about here. But there’s quite a few others.

Let’s move on!

Step 1: Find Your Interest

You may already have a specific hobby in mind that you want to do and if so, great! You’re pretty much done with step one. It may be a good idea to keep a few other potentials in the back of your mind in case the hobby you have your eye on doesn’t work for you for whatever reason. More on that later.

If you don’t have an idea already, try making a list of what you’re interested in learning. Don’t hold back! I literally want you to take a few minutes with some paper and pen and write the hobbies that have interested you. All these steps are geared towards working towards that one hobby you will eventually start to learn so you can just compare a few potentials as you go. I would say try to keep it to no more than three so you don’t get overwhelmed.

I haven’t necessarily gone by a list of hobbies when I’ve picked one up. I’ve usually had one that I’ve specifically looked into but if you’re unsure you can consider two or three at the same time to decide which is best for you.

Got your idea? Great! Let’s keep going then.

Step 2: Do Your Research

Before you run away because I didn’t tell you to just jump right in, let me explain. I do believe you have to do your research and learn more about the hobby you want to do in order to be successful and stick with it long term.

Here is what I suggest you start gathering:

  • Cost. Let’s be honest, hobbies can be expensive! You’ll need to know how much you need to pay for the instruction, any equipment you might need to provide for yourself, and other costs you might encounter.
  • Time. Hobbies will also take time. Will this work with your schedule? You need to know how much time you need to dedicate to this hobby.
  • Place. Where could you learn this hobby? You don’t need to pin down a place yet, just get a general idea of where you could do it. Here’s some ideas to get you started:
    • A local community college
    • Local park district or library
    • Online classes
    • Friends/family (word of mouth)
    • Lifestyle brands (some can point you in the right direction or even offer classes themselves, this is more common in outdoors-y or active/fitness brands or music brands)
  • Requirements. Some hobbies are easier to do as children and some you can only do as an adult of a certain age. Others require certain physical abilities so if you have certain limitations be sure to keep that in mind while you search. There might also be some seasonal/weather related requirements as well.

Now that you have a bit more knowledge on your hobby of interest, you hopefully have a good sense of whether or not this will work for you. If it does, that’s wonderful! You can proceed to Step 3. If it does not, don’t despair! You can always select something else and start Step 2 over again. This doesn’t mean that you won’t ever do the one you ruled out, it just means you won’t do it now.

Let’s continue!

Step 3: Prepare

Okay, so now you do need to focus on the specifics of the hobby you plan to do.

I recommend you start with the place you will go to. Why? Because what you need to do to prepare will likely vary from place to place.

Dress codes can be very different from one place to another. Equipment requirements could also change as some places provide more than others and certain places either require certain items or ban others. Lesson times, facility hours, and prices are usually comparable because of competition from place to place, but it’s still a good idea to compare them as they can be different as well or, if it’s something you need to schedule, they may not have the time/day you want available.

So you can see that the location can greatly impact what you will ultimately need, so it is important to narrow that down fairly early on when you know you do want to pursue that hobby. And at this point it’s important to figure out what you need to do to afford it. If you need to save before you can commit, or wait until you have more time to dedicate to the hobby, do so. It’ll save you a lot of stress and headache later.

Of course, not all hobbies require all of this but the more specific information you have on what you’ll really need to get started, the easier it’ll be when you start doing it because you’ll know what to expect.

Lastly, take some time to learn what to expect when you walk in if it’s a hobby you haven’t done before or haven’t done in a long time. You can talk to people who you know have done it, blogs are excellent resources as well, and you can phone ahead to the place you want to go to as well to ask questions about it.

Sometimes we don’t go out and explore because it’s something unknown. But you never know what you’ll love if you don’t try it, right?

Step 4: Commit!

Now that you’re prepared with all your knowledge do whatever you need to do to get yourself in that door! (Figuratively and/or literally depending on your hobby.) Be sure to verify anything you want to double check on such as methods of payment they accept, dress code, what you’ll need, etc. If this is a hobby you can do from home, or you can just show up to the location then even better for you!

Just make sure that no matter which type of commitment you make, you follow through with it!

Here’s all the steps again:

  • Step 1: Find Your Interest
  • Step 2: Do Your Research
  • Step 3: Prepare
  • Step 4: Commit!

That’s really all I have for you! I hope you found this helpful and let us know what hobby you plan to pursue! Are you planning to use any of these steps?

Pamela definitely has inspired me to make a list of my hobbies and think about things that I would probably never do. I want to get out there and enjoy my hobbies but also try new things, maybe i’ll pick up a new hobby or even a new passion. You never really know until you try, that’s the thing! Don’t let fear and comfort hold you back from exploring the world because you could be missing out on a key ingredient to who you are meant to be or want to be in life by doing so.

I hope you all enjoyed this post and will consider trying these steps out. Let us know in the comments. I think following the steps would make a great post idea!💡💛

img_5723-5

The change is happening…

GoldenPinkJournal….

When I first created this blog and spent only about a day deciding on what exactly I wanted it to be about and the name, I thought I had chosen the perfect one! The one I would stick to forever and it would relate to me so well.

Well

That was true until a few weeks ago. Blogging had started to become a chore and I couldn’t figure out what was going on. I took a break off and came back thinking I would be recharged and back to normal.

Wrong.

I’ve still been way behind, and feeling the same. Like blogging is more of a chore because something was off and I was so unorganized. It came down to me realizing that I’m not as happy with my content clutter as I’m calling it anymore or about my name at all.

It has set me in a funk and I think it shows.

I do believe that my content is good and many people say they love it, but I also have to love it in order to keep putting it out there.

I found myself trying to come up with things just so I could have something to post every day, just so I could have constant content coming up in the reader so I could continue growing. Nothing is wrong with wanting to grow, nothing is wrong with blogging every day or 5 days a week but you have to be doing it for the right reasons. You have to be doing it because you’re passionate about it and what you write.

I was going to save all of this post for later but I’m tired of waiting and thinking. Remember I created this name in one day. The past few weeks I’ve been thinking about a new name and that itself tells me something. I haven’t changed my mind and decided to stay as GoldenPinkJournal yet and I know for fact I won’t be. So over it.

It doesn’t represent me in the way that I want it to and if you randomly came across it you would just think it’s a gold and pink notebook or something. I love the colors still, just not for a name.

Also, after finally sharing my pictures, telling one blogging friend my real first name, and even being comfortable enough to share myself singing with you all I realized I can just really be my true self. I don’t have to hide every single thing about me anymore. I’m ready to be more open with you all and myself. The next step will be with my family but that’s another story for another time.

So the big change will be that I will be starting over on a whole new blog…

 This was a very scary thought for me and still is because GoldenPinkJournal is now getting closer to 700 followers and I’ll have to gain all of that back again. I’ll have to get people familiar with my name again. But I’d rather start now than later when it would have maybe 1000 or more. Yes I could just change my name on this account but with doing that you have to change a lot of other things and redirect your traffic, etc. I wish it was as simple as changing a username but unfortunately it’s not. This is also why it is good to be 100% sure on your name before you start, which I thought I was. Oops. 

But we grow and with that comes change. We gain more knowledge and confidence and aren’t the same as we were when we first began unaware and afraid.

I know some may think this isn’t necessary, but it is to me. I’ve thought and fought with myself long about this. I know I may lose a lot of views but I’m gonna keep going. In time I’ll get them back. Half of me is excited about this change but the other half is freaking out not wanting to hit publish. I’m still going to. No turning back. Then I would really feel like I’ve made a mistake and lost my mind.

I will be keeping GoldenPinkJournal up and I will still be uploading for the next month, I will be doing the features for my 5 winners here still. But shortly after that my main blog will be the new blog. I have already picked names out and I will be working on the blog and building content over the next month. You may see the change on social media sooner than later. I’ve learned that names for social media go very quick!

I will be sure to follow you all on the new blog when the time comes and share the link here so more of you can find me. 

As I said, I am still here for the next month or so, so this is not my last post. Just an update and a heads up …and an I must be crazy but it must be done post. 

There are a few other reasons I decided to go with another name but I’m going to save that for my first post on the new blog. 

I’ll talk with you all tomorrow💛

Small Weekend Pickups + Updates✨

This was just going to be a few updates, but I decided to share my small weekend pickups also 🙂

On Sunday I went out in search for a few t-shirts and shorts, I’m in desperate need of new clothes for every season. I’m way too behind on shopping, but sometimes there are bigger things to worry about and there are priorities.

Since we’re on a budget I decided not to do a huge shopping spree at once but instead, a few items here and there until I have a few outfits at least. So here’s what I picked up this past Sunday


Another cute handbag🙂 You can remove the long strap which is great. This is the perfect size for me and I needed a new one because my old black bag was worn out. I can’t wait to switch over!

The last thing I picked up was…


💙🌸

I really can’t wait to wear this dress! I saw it and my eyes lit up! They also had a gorgeous yellow one💛 I tried them both on but this was my favorite, I usually go for darker clothing which I keep saying I’m trying to step out of lol I’d definitely go back for the yellow though! I can’t wait to see what else I can find.

Now on to the updates:

I only have a few updates at the moment. I’m still thinking about things and working on having better structure so there may be updates scattered throughout the week or throughout the month just a heads up.

  • Expect to see Maggie on my blog this week. The next post featuring will be 7/5/17
  • My boyfriend is off work for the 4th and we will be out with family most of the day so I will not be posting. This also means that my Summer lyrics will be posted on the 5th
  • You may or may not catch me on social media but know that changes are happening there also
  • Words of the week? This is a series I’m not sure I will be keeping
  • I still will not be posting on the weekend (besides Short Story Saturday)
  • Fun Friday will continue 
  • I am extending my Summer Party Playlist Project. More on that later. So if you still want to participate you can☀️
  • I will be spending more time reading and commenting on your posts✨ I know I haven’t as much but it seems many of us are behind lately?

Those are all the updates I have for now. There will be more. 

Goodnight/Good morning whenever you are reading this💖


Lazy Sick Day + 500 Follower Q&A!✨

Hello all who reads. I’m not sure what time it is that you’re reading this but I’m typing this out at 10 PM. The day is basically over and I almost didn’t post at all. Why?

This morning I woke up feeling a little off and extremely sleepy. My boyfriend has been sick so last night he was tossing and turning, getting up because of sweating and coldness. This also caused me to wake up every time he did. Last week he went to the doctor and was told he had strep throat. They gave him a shot and said it would pass quicker that way, he also had to take 2 days off using up the last of his sick days. He seems to be better now. We’ll see how tonight goes. As for me, I really hope I’m not getting sick too. I’m usually the first so I’m surprised that it was him this time. However, I did get sick after eating my breakfast this morning…Yeah, came right up (no I am not pregnant) and I felt terrible. Im assuming it was just the sausage but I could be coming down with something as I’ve been sniffing and sneezing a lot lately. I’m sniffing now as I type. 

Since I wasn’t feeling well today I haven’t really been active or productive until about an hour ago. Today I was supposed to finish up my tasks from yesterday and have time with my friend. Well, we’re trying yet again tomorrow- maybe.

I just got done cleaning up after the guinea pigs and some dishes because no way I was doing it earlier. No worries everyone got fed! despite not wanting to do anything else.

I have a video for their channel still needing to be edited and uploaded. YouTubing is hard work I tell you, especially just starting out and doing other things too. Making a channel for my pets was basically a test/trial to see if I would actually like doing it and get some experience, then I would create a personal or blog YouTube account. 

So far, I’m definitely not ready for that but it’s still a consideration. I’m still interested. Do any of you have YouTube channels or plan on starting one?

Besides that, I was able to make time to watch the sunset. It didn’t require too much effort as everything else did. 

Here are a couple of tonight’s shots…

I can’t wait to have a car again so we can go somewhere to get better views. I could take a walk but even standing on my balcony taking the pictures is uncomfortable sometimes. Okay a lot of the time. I don’t know, I just don’t like people watching me take pictures or taking pictures of me lol. It makes me uncomfortable. Am I the only one? 

Usually I can get nice shots without stepping out, and sometimes I take them from the bedroom window. I’ll start to share them here more since some of you don’t have Instagram, where I post majority of them.

Anyway, I hope and let’s all hope that I do not get strep throat😩🙁

Or sick period. Let’s wake up feeling better!As you all know, or you may just be finding out- I recently hit the 500 follower mark, which was one of my goals for June. I said I would let you all know what I wanted to do to celebrate and decided I had to do something involving the number 5 lol (500 would probably be a little wild) so yesterday I posted 5 times! I think that’s my record so I was proud of that.

I also want to do a Q&A, I always love reading those and asking questions so I thought you all would love to ask some questions. I’d love to answer!

So go ahead, ask me questions in the comment section💕 

Think of the most basic questions or the most interesting, I only ask that you don’t ask where I am from or my first name✨

I will be answering them next Friday, the 23rd and of course I’ll have to deliver it in a FUN way😉

Let’s make it happen! I’ve got some nice ideas for this. Ask as many as you like✨