I had a short break from life. Now I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to go back. My mind is made up I won’t be there for long. That’s the way it’s always been. Been. Here. Gone. There. Everywhere or anywhere. Everyone wants to be happy. Sometimes it makes us selfish, sometimes we’re too selfless and give too much of it away just to keep everyone else happy. And then we break down. I hide the way I truly feel because it seems so selfish.Selfish selfish selfishness. Selfishly. But every once in a while you have to put yourself first. There are only a few hours left in the day before I go back to misery? I guess it’s up to me how that all plays out. Maybe I’ll have my favorite company, even though I’ve had company all this time. Just wasn’t the company I really wanted. I’m realizing the things I want out of life and the people I want out of my life. Energy I don’t want to be around, not letting anyone control how my day is going to be. If I don’t want to do it, I don’t want to do it and I don’t have to. Unless it’s like a life or death situation or something. If I don’t want to be there, I don’t want to be there and I don’t have to be. Unless I have nowhere else to go. It sucks when you feel like you’re running out of options but deep down you know you’re not, you’re just so exhausted and over all the unfortunates you become lazy and discouraged. I must be feeling discouraged I’ve been saying that word a lot lately I’ve noticed. I’ll be finding more positive words to say. 111, 1111, 222, 22, 333, 33, 444, 44, 555, 55, 10:25. I see these numbers so much.
Stream of Consciousness Journaling
Stream of consciousness (may also be known as morning pages) is a style of journaling where you just let whatever comes to mind flow out on paper without stopping to think about anything. There are no rules to this style of journaling, you don’t have to worry about grammar, punctuation, or structure. You aren’t telling a story, it doesn’t have to make sense. I like to write my stream of consciousness when I wake up in the morning or anytime before 12 PM, basically anytime before I’ve fully started my day. When you first wake up your mind is still processing the dreams you had the night before, your mind is also preparing for the rest of the day so writing during that time can be very beneficial and quite interesting. To start out try spending about 5-10 minutes to free your mind and release all the chatter, then make the time unlimited. Write for as long as you can without breaking the stream.
Stream of consciousness journaling can also help with lack of understanding and writers’ block. Often times I find that I am having writers’ block because my mind is full of clutter and I can’t really understand my thoughts or organize them in a way that when I go to write a post or story ideas aren’t all over the place. Release the clutter without having to be organized! But there’s also lack of inspiration… Instead of forcing yourself to put words together becoming frustrated in the process, allow everything to flow out at once and you’ll be surprised at the ideas that pop up. If you don’t understand how you’re feeling about a specific person or situation, stream of consciousness journaling can give you an insight into how and why you’re feeling a certain way. Your conscience is literally telling you with no filter, uncensored.
The first few times you try it may be a little fuzzy but that’s okay, it is sort of a skill you have to develop, I’m still practicing and developing my way. Soon it will become like second nature. I’ve taken the advice to not read any of my stream of consciousness entries until after a week or so. That way, you’re not constantly judging yourself and getting discouraged to continue. By judging yourself, I mean your work. Whatever you’ve written, if you read it right away and notice the errors you may want to correct them or add/delete things which defeats the purpose. You don’t need to edit your raw thoughts and feelings.
As something fresh to my blog but similar to my old diary entries, I will be journaling at least three times a week for now and share one with you all each week, to start I’ll see how each Monday plays out.
Do you practice stream of consciousness journaling? Do you take time to journal daily? Do you find that it helps improve any aspect of your writing? Comment below.✨