Iridescent dating? What is that? Doesn’t iridescent mean luminous colors that seem to change when seen from different angles?
It sure does. Iridescent dating is my own play on words. It sounds a lot like interracial dating which is exactly what we’re going to be discussing. Interracial dating is when two people of a different ethnicity come together as a couple. Whether they are just seeing each other, with children, or actually get married, many people view interracial dating in different ways.
This is a poll I ran on twitter just last week. Out of 75 votes, 77% of people said that love is love. Meaning interracial dating is no different from any other type of dating. 7% said that it needs to stop, and the other 16% believes interracial dating is only the result of wanting mixed children. I do believe that SOME people do get with another person of a different race just to produce mixed children, because social media does have a way of making them out to be the “cutest babies” with the light skin, light eyes, and “good hair.” There are people who will say an African American who dates outside of their race is only trying to erase their “blackness.” Sadly, it is sometimes an identity insecurity but this isn’t true for ALL.
I’m actually in an interracial relationship at the moment (bwwm) and we’ve been together almost 2 years now. We’ve even dated in the past back in high school. Before we got back together I was actually with a black man and had that relationship not gone south I’d probably still be with him. Everything happens for a reason and you can’t help who you develop a strong connection with or who you fall in love with, it just happens. Running this poll I had no real expectations but I did predict that the first choice or last would be the majority vote. I was pleased that majority felt the same way, that love is love. We shouldn’t see color, what we should see or love about a person should always be what comes from the inside. Who that person is, who that person wants to be, how that person makes you feel is what should matter. After seeing the results I did wonder if there would be a different outcome if voters were 50 years old or older and honestly, I believe it would be. Slightly or dramatically? I can’t say.
Sometimes when my boyfriend and I go out in public I notice stares. Not many, but maybe 1 or 2 every now and then usually by an older white man, or younger black man. At first, I thought I was the only one to notice and I wouldn’t say anything because I didn’t want to sound crazy or seem like I was just looking for things to point out as a black women with a white man, but my boyfriend eventually noticed too- another older white man. Instead of keeping quiet about it, he made sure to say if he sees another person giving us a dirty look there’s going to be a problem. Of course I was glad to know he’d be willing to stand up for our relationship but I’d always try to avoid any confrontation. I secretly wonder what are going through these people’s minds when they see us together and give us dirty looks, I sometimes even wonder if the looks are only for me, is it my hair because I wear it in its natural state? Is it because my lips and nose are a little bigger, or that my skin is a little darker?
Things aren’t as bad as they were years ago, more people are coming together and seeing that we are all HUMAN regardless of what color you are or where you come from. It doesn’t matter if there are differences, the fact that we are all different in ways gives us a similarity. We have come a LONG way as a country and I feel proud to be a part of that but racism and discrimination is STILL alive today. I try my best to pay it no attention, I’ll continue to ignore the ignorance but it is an issue, it has always been an issue that needs to change.
I know that I’m beautiful, my relationship is beautiful an we’re happy in our iridescent relationship. That’s what matters.
What are your thoughts on interracial dating? Have you ever dated outside of your race? What was that experience like?
Until next time, love Lee.